Proofreading

game/scripts/characters/astoria/summon.rpy

@@ -130,7 +130,7 @@ label astoria_talk:
             gen "Could you help me with something?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             ast "Depends what it is." ("annoyed", "narrow", "base", "mid")
             ast "And what's in it for me..." ("smile", "closed", "angry", "mid")
-            gen "Well, the Slytherin Quidditch team refuses to practise against the Ravenclaws." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+            gen "Well, the Slytherin Quidditch team refuses to practise against Ravenclaw." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             ast "And?" ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
             gen "I was wondering if there's something you could do about it." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             ast "Like what?" ("open", "base", "worried", "mid")
@@ -138,7 +138,7 @@ label astoria_talk:
             ast "Yeah right, those guys would never listen to me..." ("base", "narrow", "base", "R")
             ast "And can't you do something about it? You're the headmaster!" ("annoyed", "base", "worried", "mid")
             gen "Well, I can't technically force them to do anything. If I could, then that would make things a lot easier..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-            ast "Ask Snape then, he's the head of Slytherin... If they'd listen to anyone it'd be him." ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
+            ast "Ask Snape then, he's the head of Slytherin... If they'd listen to anyone, it'd be him." ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
             if states.cho.ev.quidditch.e9_complete:
                 gen "(If only he'd listen to me...)" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             else:
@@ -194,7 +194,7 @@ label astoria_talk:
                     ast "Daddy? Don't you think that's a little weird?" ("clench", "narrow", "angry", "mid")
                     gen "Not at all!" ("base", "narrow", "angry", "mid", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                     ast "*Hmph*..." ("upset", "narrow", "angry", "mid")
-                    ast "Alright, why not. Nobody knows about it anyways." ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
+                    ast "Alright, why not... Nobody knows about it anyway." ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
                     jump astoria_talk
                 "-Master-" (style="disabled") if states.ast.level < 18:
                     label .master_fail:
@@ -243,7 +243,7 @@ label astoria_talk:
                     jump astoria_talk
 
 
-        "-From now on I will refer to you as-":
+        "-From now on, I will refer to you as-":
             menu:
                 "-Miss Greengrass-":
                     label .miss_greengrass:
@@ -283,7 +283,7 @@ label astoria_talk:
                     $ name_astoria_genie = "Slave"
                     ast "I'm not your slave, [name_genie_astoria]!" ("upset", "narrow", "angry", "mid")
                     gen "Of course you aren't! We are just playing a game, that's all..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-                    ast "Oh I like games!" ("grin", "base", "base", "mid")
+                    ast "I like games!" ("grin", "base", "base", "mid")
                     ast "Alrighty then!" ("grin", "base", "base", "mid")
                     jump astoria_talk
 

game/scripts/characters/cho/talk.rpy

@@ -39,7 +39,7 @@ label cho_talk:
 
             jump genie_cho_change
 
-        "\"-From now on I will refer to you as-\"" if states.cho.ev.quidditch.e1_complete:
+        "\"-From now on, I will refer to you as-\"" if states.cho.ev.quidditch.e1_complete:
             menu:
                 "\"-Miss Chang-\"":
                     $ name_cho_genie = "Miss Chang"

game/scripts/characters/hermione/events/forest.rpy

@@ -40,7 +40,7 @@ label forest_BJ_1: #BJ in the forest interrupted by moaning myrtle
     gen "..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="base")
     her "*Ugh*, fine! If you must know, I was out here gathering up some mastic resin." ("upset", "narrow", "worried", "down")
     her "I know students aren't {i}technically{/i} supposed to touch the stuff, since it's normally used to make belch powder..." ("annoyed", "base", "base", "R")
-    her "But I'm using it in my research for a non addictive analgesic!" ("open", "closed", "base", "mid")
+    her "But I'm using it in my research for a non-addictive analgesic!" ("open", "closed", "base", "mid")
     gen "Right..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="base")
 
     menu:
@@ -268,7 +268,7 @@ label forest_BJ_2:
     her "!!!!!!"
     show her_forest bj h25 m1 as cg
     call cum_block
-    gen "Gods I needed this!"
+    gen "Gods, I needed this!"
     show her_forest bj h26 m1 as cg
     myr "So much...{heart}{heart}{heart}"
     show her_forest bj h25 m1 as cg
@@ -343,7 +343,7 @@ label forest_BJ_3: #Complete BJ with Myrtle appearing after the cumshot
     her "What! O-of course not!" ("base", "narrow", "worried", "down")
     her "I'm just out here to admire the moon!" ("base", "base", "base", "R")
     gen "What moon?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="base")
-    nar "Hermione frantically looks to the cloudy sky, unable to even glimpse the moon through the impenetrable greyness."
+    nar "Hermione frantically looks at the cloudy sky, unable to even glimpse the moon through the impenetrable greyness."
     her "Oh...{w=0.4} *Uhm*..." ("open", "happy", "base", "R")
     gen "It's alright...{w=0.4} Just admit that you're a dirty little cumslut, [name_hermione_genie]." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="base")
     her "It's not like that!" ("upset", "narrow", "annoyed", "mid")
@@ -501,7 +501,7 @@ label forest_BJ_3: #Complete BJ with Myrtle appearing after the cumshot
     show her_forest bj h39 as cg
     call cum_block
 
-    nar "Your cock starts firing off a huge load against the back of the poor girls throat, quickly overflowing all the way up through her nostrils and back at you."
+    nar "Your cock starts firing off a huge load against the back of the poor girl's throat, quickly overflowing all the way up through her nostrils and back at you."
 
     her "{size=+14}!!!{/size}"
     myr "{size=+3}Oh{/size} {size=+3}my{/size} {size=+3}God!{/size}"
@@ -657,14 +657,14 @@ label forest_BJ_4: #Moaning myrtle dirty talk (Repeatable) (Threaten to expose)
     her "*Slurp*{heart}*Slurp*{heart}*Glck*"
     #Myrtle fade in
     show her_forest bj h16 m2 as cg
-    gen "And for Casper the slutty ghost here..."
+    gen "And for Casper, the slutty ghost here..."
     show her_forest bj h43 m2 as cg
     her "*Slurp*!!!*Slurp*!!!*Glck*!!!"
 
     menu:
-        nar "Hermione, once again, tries to pull her mouth of your cock..."
+        nar "Hermione, once again, tries to pull her mouth off your cock..."
         "-Let her-":
-            nar "Reluctantly, you allow the girl to pull herself of your throbbing member..."
+            nar "Reluctantly, you allow the girl to pull herself off your throbbing member..."
             show her_forest bj h10 m2 as cg
             her "Myrtle! Why are you always showing up like this?"
             myr "Aren't I allowed a bit of fun in my afterlife?"
@@ -749,7 +749,7 @@ label forest_BJ_4: #Moaning myrtle dirty talk (Repeatable) (Threaten to expose)
             show her_forest bj h35 m2 as cg
             her "{size=+5}*Glck*{heart}PRFFSSRR!!!{heart}*Glck*{/size}"
             show her_forest bj h34 m2 as cg
-            myr "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!"
+            myr "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
             show her_forest bj h35 m2 as cg
             her "{size=+5}*Glck*{heart}*Glck*{heart}*Glck*{/size}"
             show her_forest bj h34 m2 as cg
@@ -763,7 +763,7 @@ label forest_BJ_4: #Moaning myrtle dirty talk (Repeatable) (Threaten to expose)
             show her_forest bj h35 m2 as cg
             her "{size=+5}*Glck*{heart}WHHTT!!!{heart}*Glck*{/size}"
             show her_forest bj h34 m2 as cg
-            myr "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!"
+            myr "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
             show her_forest bj h35 m2 as cg
             her "{size=+5}*Glck*{heart}*Glck*{heart}*Glck*{/size}"
             show her_forest bj h34 m2 as cg
@@ -796,7 +796,7 @@ label forest_BJ_4: #Moaning myrtle dirty talk (Repeatable) (Threaten to expose)
     show her_forest bj h35 m2 as cg
     her "{size=+5}*Glck*{heart}*Glck*{heart}*Glck*{/size}"
     show her_forest bj h34 m2 as cg
-    myr "Then there's teachers'!"
+    myr "Then there's the teachers'!"
     show her_forest bj h35 m2 as cg
     her "{size=+5}*Glck*{heart}*Glck*{heart}*Glck*{/size}"
     show her_forest bj h34 m2 as cg

game/scripts/characters/hermione/talk.rpy

@@ -150,7 +150,7 @@ label hermione_talk:
                 "-Never mind-":
                     jump hermione_talk
 
-        "-From now on I will refer to you as-":
+        "-From now on, I will refer to you as-":
             menu:
                 "-Miss Granger-":
                     $ temp_name = "Miss Granger"
@@ -286,7 +286,7 @@ label hermione_change:
             her "*tsk* ..." ("soft", "narrow", "base", "R_soft")
             her "" ("normal", "narrow", "base", "R_soft")
         elif states.her.level >= 5 and states.her.level < 19:
-            her "I can be a bit nerdy sometimes I suppose.." ("angry", "happyCl", "base", "mid", emote="sweat")
+            her "I can be a bit nerdy sometimes I suppose..." ("angry", "happyCl", "base", "mid", emote="sweat")
             her "" ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
         elif states.her.level >= 19:
             her "I don't read as much as I used to anymore." ("grin", "narrow", "base", "R_soft", emote="sweat")

game/scripts/characters/hermione/wardrobe_reactions.rpy

@@ -181,7 +181,7 @@ label her_reaction_equip_fail(item):
 
     random:
         her "I am not wearing that..." ("annoyed", "base", "angry", "down")
-        her "Thanks. but no thanks..." ("annoyed", "happyCl", "angry", "R")
+        her "Thanks. but no, thanks..." ("annoyed", "happyCl", "angry", "R")
         her "You actually think I'd put on something like that?" ("annoyed", "wide", "angry", "mid")
         her "I'm not some Slytherin skank [name_genie_hermione], ask them to humiliate themselves for your amusement..." ("open", "narrow", "angry", "L")
         her "This is too much." ("annoyed", "narrow", "angry", "R")
@@ -202,7 +202,7 @@ label her_reaction_unequip_fail(item):
     if item.type == "panties":
         random:
             block:
-                her "I'm not gonna flash you anything!" ("clench", "narrow", "angry", "mid")
+                her "I'm not going to flash you anything!" ("clench", "narrow", "angry", "mid")
                 her "{size=-4}Pervert...{/size}" ("annoyed", "narrow", "angry", "R")
             block:
                 her "Take off my panties?! No way!" ("clench", "narrow", "angry", "mid")
@@ -214,7 +214,7 @@ label her_reaction_unequip_fail(item):
     elif item.type == "bra":
         random:
             block:
-                her "I'm not gonna flash you anything!" ("clench", "narrow", "angry", "mid")
+                her "I'm not going to flash you anything!" ("clench", "narrow", "angry", "mid")
                 her "{size=-4}Pervert...{/size}" ("annoyed", "narrow", "angry", "R")
             block:
                 her "Take off my bra?! No way!" ("clench", "narrow", "angry", "mid")
@@ -320,7 +320,7 @@ label her_reaction_equip_outfit(item):
         else: #22+
             her "My muggle clothing, [name_genie_hermione]?" ("open", "squint", "base", "L")
             gen "Yeah, that one!" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-            her "It's a bit... Too normal don't you think?" ("soft", "squint", "base", "mid")
+            her "It's a bit... Too normal, don't you think?" ("soft", "squint", "base", "mid")
             gen "I don't see how that's a bad thing..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             her "Alright then... Let me put it on real quick." ("open", "narrow", "base", "down")
 
@@ -345,7 +345,7 @@ label her_reaction_equip_outfit(item):
             her "My mother made that jumper for me, you know..." ("open", "closed", "base", "mid")
             her "I wonder what she'd say if she knew I rarely wear it anymore..." ("soft", "closed", "base", "mid")
             gen "She'd probably be proud that you're not relying on her giving you clothes anymore." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-            her "*Hmm*... Somehow I doubt that..." ("normal", "squint", "base", "R")
+            her "*Hmm*... Somehow, I doubt that..." ("normal", "squint", "base", "R")
         else: #22+
             her "That old thing?" ("annoyed", "base", "base", "mid")
             her "It's a bit boring, don't you think?" ("open", "squint", "base", "R")
@@ -358,7 +358,7 @@ label her_reaction_equip_outfit(item):
     elif item == her_outfit_s_overcast:
         gen "Could you put on your regular clothing, the one with the school skirt and pullover?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         if states.her.level < 4:
-            her "The pullover does go well with the school skirt don't you think?" ("base", "squint", "base", "mid")
+            her "The pullover does go well with the school skirt, don't you think?" ("base", "squint", "base", "mid")
             gen "It would look good even without the skirt on in my opinion." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             her @ cheeks blush "How nice, I'll let my mother know you said--" ("base", "closed", "base", "mid")
             her @ cheeks blush "Wait, what did you say?" ("soft", "wide", "base", "mid")
@@ -403,7 +403,7 @@ label her_reaction_equip_outfit(item):
         elif states.her.level < 22:
             her "You suddenly want me to cover up now?" ("angry", "narrow", "base", "R")
             menu:
-                "\"Yes, your body disgusts me and I'm doing everyone a favour...\"":
+                "\"Yes, your body disgusts me, and I'm doing everyone a favour...\"":
                     her "What!?" ("clench", "wide", "base", "mid")
                 "\"Of course not...\"":
                     gen "I'd just like you to wear it... Is that so much to ask?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
@@ -580,7 +580,7 @@ label her_reaction_equip_outfit(item):
             her "But that thing is so boring..." ("clench", "closed", "worried", "mid")
             gen "Not this one..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             her @ cheeks blush "Oh... That one..." ("open", "base", "base", "down")
-            her @ cheeks blush "Well I suppose I could put that one on..." ("base", "base", "base", "R")
+            her @ cheeks blush "Well, I suppose I could put that one on..." ("base", "base", "base", "R")
             her "One moment..." ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
 
     ##################
@@ -934,7 +934,7 @@ label her_reaction_equip_outfit(item):
             her "Who?" ("soft", "squint", "base", "mid")
             gen "*Err*... I meant, you should see the zone she's--" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             gen "What I meant to say was..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-            gen "Just... Put it on will you?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+            gen "Just... Put it on, will you?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             her "Alright." ("grin", "narrow", "base", "R")
             her "" ("base", "squint", "base", "mid")
 
@@ -1419,7 +1419,7 @@ label her_reaction_equip_outfit_fail(item):
             gen "I'm not hearing a no." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             her "I can't believe I'd even have to--" ("clench", "squint", "angry", "mid")
             her "No! I am not putting on this disgusting--" ("scream", "closed", "angry", "mid")
-            gen "Alright, Alright... A simple no would've sufficed..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+            gen "Alright, Alright... A simple \"no\" would've sufficed..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             her "..." ("disgust", "base", "angry", "mid")
         elif states.her.level < 13:
             her "Latex?" ("open", "wide", "base", "mid")
@@ -1784,7 +1784,7 @@ label her_reaction_equip_outfit_fail(item):
             her "Wouldn't that be kind of weird?" ("clench", "narrow", "base", "mid")
             gen "I don't see why it would..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             her "I mean... There's not really a pool or anything in here..." ("disgust", "base", "worried", "L")
-            gen "Yeah... No complimentary chocolate either." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+            gen "Yeah... No complimentary chocolate, either." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             her "*Huh*?" ("upset", "squint", "base", "mid")
             gen "Never mind..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             gen "Would you put it on if there was a pool in here?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")

game/scripts/characters/luna/events/favors/talk_to_me.rpy

@@ -155,7 +155,7 @@ label ll_pf_talk_T1_E1_intro:
     lun "But [name_genie_luna]..." ("angry", "narrow", "base", "mid")
     gen "Once we have a way to properly deal with them then I'm sure we could administer the cure without causing a fuss." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     lun "You believe there's a cure for something like this, [name_genie_luna]?" ("soft", "base", "base", "mid")
-    gen "I have a theory... and If it works, then it should let us expel those spurty buggers." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "I have a theory... And if it works, then it should let us expel those spurty buggers." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     lun "You've found a way to expel them on command?" ("clench", "base", "base", "mid")
     gen "Well, I wouldn't say on command... Now that is beyond even my own capabilities..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     gen "I need to conduct some more tests, and once that's done, I'll put it into practice." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")

game/scripts/characters/luna/summon.rpy

@@ -206,7 +206,7 @@ label luna_talk:
 
             jump genie_luna_change
 
-        "-From now on I will refer to you as-" if states.lun.ev.spectrespecs.e4_complete:
+        "-From now on, I will refer to you as-" if states.lun.ev.spectrespecs.e4_complete:
             menu:
                 "-Miss Lovegood-":
                     $ name_luna_genie = "Miss Lovegood"
@@ -248,7 +248,7 @@ label genie_luna_change:
         lun "Yes, [name_genie_luna]." ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
     elif name_genie_luna == "Partner":
         lun "[name_genie_luna]?" ("soft", "base", "raised", "mid")
-        gen "Yes, we're working together now so it's only appropriate." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+        gen "Yes, we're working together now, so it's only appropriate." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         lun "Oh... Of course [name_genie_luna]." ("grin", "base", "base", "mid")
     elif name_genie_luna == "Master":
         lun "[name_genie_luna]?" ("soft", "narrow", "base", "mid")
@@ -274,7 +274,7 @@ label genie_luna_change:
     elif name_genie_luna == "Daddy":
         lun "[name_genie_luna]?" ("open", "narrow", "base", "mid")
         gen "Yes..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-        lun "But wont that be confusing?" ("annoyed", "narrow", "base", "mid")
+        lun "But won't that be confusing?" ("annoyed", "narrow", "base", "mid")
         gen "Would it?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         lun "Yes, that's usually what I call my father..." ("open", "base", "base", "R")
         gen "I'm your daddy now..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
@@ -294,10 +294,10 @@ label name_luna_genie:
         gen "So?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         lun "Isn't it against the law?" ("mad", "narrow", "base", "mid")
         gen "... Is what against the law?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-        lun "Teachers and students calling each other by their first name. I read an article about it in the quibbler." ("angry", "narrow", "raised", "mid")
+        lun "Teachers and students referring to each other by their first name. I read an article about it in the quibbler." ("angry", "narrow", "raised", "mid")
-        gen "*Err*... No they recently made it legal." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+        gen "*Err*... No, they recently made it legal." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         lun "Oh, How progressive!" ("soft", "base", "base", "stare")
-        lun "Then of course, you can call me that!" ("smile", "base", "base", "mid")
+        lun "In that case, you can call me that!" ("smile", "base", "base", "mid")
     elif name_luna_genie == "Loony":
         lun "Do you really need to call me that, [name_genie_luna]?" ("upset", "base", "base", "mid")
         lun "Other students call me that to make fun of me." ("upset", "base", "base", "R")
@@ -326,6 +326,6 @@ label name_luna_genie:
         lun "Well I do love helping you cum..." ("grin", "narrow", "base", "downL")
         lun "Sure, you can call me that." ("grin", "base", "base", "mid")
     else: #Custom/fallback
-        lun "That's not too bad... Sure you can call me that." ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
+        lun "Sure, you can call me that!" ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
 
     jump luna_talk

game/scripts/characters/snape/nicknames.rpy

@@ -4,12 +4,12 @@ label snape_nicknames_genie:
             sna "Genie I presume?" ("snape_05")
             gen "Nah.... {i}G{/i} as in gangsta..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             gen "{i}Wuddup it's mister G coming at you from the big Hog.{/i}" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-            sna "Yeah, no I'm not doing that..." ("snape_04")
+            sna "Yeah, no... I'm not doing that." ("snape_04")
         "-Big D-":
             sna "I don't think that the real Albus Dumbledore would call himself that..." ("snape_03")
             gen "I suppose I am much greater than he is." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             sna "Greater than the real Albus Dumbledore?!" ("snape_25")
-            sna "*Hmph*... You might be a Genie but that is taking things too far..." ("snape_03")
+            sna "*Hmph*... You might be a Genie, but that is taking things too far..." ("snape_03")
         "-Master-":
             sna "I am not some common house elf..." ("snape_03")
             gen "What kind of elf are you then?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ label snape_nicknames_genie:
             sna "Why on earth would I do that?" ("snape_05")
             gen "Because it's true." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             sna "You look like an old man." ("snape_03")
-            gen "Hey, I'm only a sixtyfive thousand years old thank you very much..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+            gen "Hey, I'm only a sixtyfive thousand years old, thank you very much..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             sna "I'm talking about--{w=0.4} You know what, nevermind..." ("snape_03")
         "-Lord Voldemort-":
             sna "..." ("snape_11")

game/scripts/characters/snape/summon.rpy

@@ -57,16 +57,16 @@ label summon_snape:
                         else:
                             sna "I hope you have some wine at least?" ("snape_01")
                             gen "I hoped you'd bring your own for once." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-                            sna "I see.." ("snape_04")
+                            sna "I see..." ("snape_04")
                             sna "I guess you don't need my help after all." ("snape_31")
-                            gen "(Bloody alcoholic..)" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+                            gen "(Bloody alcoholic...)" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                             jump .talk
 
                 "-Address me only as-" if states.her.ev.intro.e6_complete:
                     call snape_nicknames_genie
                     jump .talk
 
-                "-From now on I will refer to you as-" if states.her.ev.intro.e6_complete:
+                "-From now on, I will refer to you as-" if states.her.ev.intro.e6_complete:
                     call snape_nicknames
                     jump .talk
 

game/scripts/characters/susan/chitchat.rpy

@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@ label susan_chitchat:
             sus "I hope I'm not disappointing her too much..." ("open", "base", "sad", "downR")
 
         block:
-            sus "Madam Pomfrey once prescribed me a \"Draught of peace\" to drink the night before exams so I could get some sleep." ("open", "base", "base", "right")
+            sus "Madam Pomfrey once prescribed me a \"Draught of peace\" to drink the night before exams, so I could get some sleep." ("open", "base", "base", "right")
             sus "But even with her prescription, Snape wouldn't give one to me." ("open", "base", "sad", "downR")
 
         block:
@@ -73,7 +73,7 @@ label susan_chitchat:
 
         block:
             sus "How come Professor Snape is allowed to ask us to gather ingredients in the forbidden forest?" ("soft", "happy", "sad", "mid")
-            sus "The students that didn't go got a bad grade, and the ones that did got detention..." ("angry", "closed", "sad", "mid")
+            sus "The students who didn't go received a bad grade, and the ones who did got detention..." ("angry", "closed", "sad", "mid")
             sus "How is that fair?" ("soft", "happy", "sad", "mid")
 
         block:
@@ -82,7 +82,7 @@ label susan_chitchat:
 
         block:
             sus "Just because the Hufflepuff house is next to the kitchen, doesn't mean we can get food whenever we like." ("annoyed", "base", "base", "mid")
-            sus "So why does the Slytherin students keep asking me to show where I hide my melons?" ("annoyed", "happy", "sad", "down")
+            sus "So why do the Slytherin students keep asking me to show where I hide my melons?" ("annoyed", "happy", "sad", "down")
 
         block:
             sus "Why do people seem to find my surname so funny?" ("soft", "happy", "sad", "down")

game/scripts/characters/susan/events/intro.rpy

@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@ label nt_he_susan_E1:
     ton "Lately she's been too shy to even answer the simplest of questions during my class." ("annoyed", "base", "worried", "R")
     ton "She's lost quite a few points for her house that way." ("upset", "base", "worried", "mid")
     ton "Not in my lessons, of course. I'd never take points from Hufflepuff!" ("soft", "base", "worried", "R")
-    gen "Just send her my way and I'll drown her in house points!" ("grin", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "Just send her my way, and I'll drown her in house points!" ("grin", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     gen "And show her that her bod--" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     gen "*Ahem!* Show her that she's appreciated..." ("angry", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     ton "That's what I was thinking..." ("open", "closed", "base", "mid")
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@ label nt_he_susan_E1:
     gen "I don't know... banter?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     gen "Snape sure as hell hasn't sent me any girls..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     ton "I can teach him a thing or two about sharing - if you'd like..." ("soft", "base", "annoyed", "mid")
-    ton "The more the merrier in my opinion..." ("base", "happyCl", "base", "mid")
+    ton "The more, the merrier in my opinion..." ("base", "happyCl", "base", "mid")
     gen "You don't mean Snape and I..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     ton "Of course not, don't be silly!" ("base", "narrow", "base", "mid")
     ton "Maybe he's afraid you'd steal them from him if you got the chance..." ("horny", "base", "angry", "mid")
@@ -155,7 +155,7 @@ label susan_intro_E1:
     sus "S-Sir?" ("soft", "happy", "shocked", "mid")
     gen "(This must be that girl she wanted me to help with body confidence...)"
     gen "Did professor Tonks tell you why I wanted to see you?"
-    sus "N-no...{w} I'm not in trouble am I?" ("open", "happy", "base", "stare")
+    sus "N-no...{w} I'm not in trouble, am I?" ("open", "happy", "base", "stare")
     gen "Don't worry, I just needed to confirm something - You're free to go..."
     sus "C-confirm something?" ("angry", "happy", "base", "mid")
     sus "So I'm not in trouble then?" ("open", "happy", "sad", "mid")

game/scripts/characters/susan/summon.rpy

@@ -60,7 +60,7 @@ label summon_susan:
             if game.daytime:
                 sus "I will go back to classes then, [name_genie_susan]." ("base", "base", "shocked", "mid")
             else:
-                sus "*Ehm*... good night then, [name_genie_susan]." ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
+                sus "*Ehm*... Good night then, [name_genie_susan]." ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
 
             play sound "sounds/door.ogg"
 
@@ -146,7 +146,7 @@ label susan_talk:
                     jump susan_requests
 
 
-        "-From now on I will refer to you as-":
+        "-From now on, I will refer to you as-":
             menu:
                 "-Miss Bones-":
                     $ name_susan_genie = "Miss Bones"
@@ -163,7 +163,7 @@ label susan_talk:
                 "-Cow-":
                     $ name_susan_genie = "Cow"
                     sus "Why would you want to call me that, [name_genie_susan]?" ("angry", "happy", "low", "mid")
-                    sus "The other girls already call me that and I hate it..." ("angry", "narrow", "low", "down")
+                    sus "The other girls already call me that, and I hate it..." ("angry", "narrow", "low", "down")
                     gen "You poor thing!" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                     gen "You see, if someone like me would call you that, maybe it wouldn't affect you as much." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                     sus "I--... You might be right." ("open", "narrow", "base", "down")
@@ -175,10 +175,10 @@ label susan_talk:
                     gen "You know... What?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                     sus @ cheeks blush "Isn't that a name you'd give to a-- A cow?" ("open", "happy", "sad", "downR")
                     gen "Oh, is it?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-                    sus @ cheeks blush "*Ehm*... Yes, I think so at least..." ("open", "happy", "worried", "mid")
+                    sus @ cheeks blush "*Ehm*... Yes, I think so, at least..." ("open", "happy", "worried", "mid")
                     sus @ cheeks blush "Some of the other girls shouted it at me before..." ("annoyed", "happy", "worried", "down")
                     gen "That's a shame... I thought you'd like it..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-                    sus @ cheeks blush "Oh, Well... I suppose as long as it's not ill meaning..." ("open", "happy", "worried", "downR")
+                    sus @ cheeks blush "Oh, well... I suppose as long as it's not ill meaning..." ("open", "happy", "worried", "downR")
                     gen "Of course not!" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                     sus @ cheeks blush "Alright then, you can call me that if you like..." ("soft", "base", "base", "mid")
                     jump susan_talk
@@ -191,7 +191,7 @@ label susan_talk:
                     sus @ cheeks blush "I'm not a... slut." ("soft", "narrow", "sad", "downR")
                     gen "Of course not. This is just to strengthen your self-esteem." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                     gen "Trust me, I know what I'm doing." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-                    gen "Being called a slut always boosts a girls confidence!" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+                    gen "Being called a slut always boosts a girl's confidence!" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                     sus @ cheeks blush "R-- Really?" ("soft", "happy", "sad", "mid")
                     gen "Yes. Now... shall we try it?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                     sus @ cheeks blush "... alright, [name_genie_susan]..." ("base", "happy", "sad", "mid")