Proofreading

game/scripts/characters/hermione/events/requests/flirt_with_teachers.rpy

@@ -116,32 +116,32 @@ label hg_pr_flirt_teacher_T1_E1: # Flitwick
     her "But I didn't really get that far..." ("open", "squint", "worried", "R")
     her "Professor Flitwick asked me to show the class how to cast {i}wingardium leviosa{/i}, you see." ("open", "squint", "worried", "mid")
     her "And of course, seeing that I'm an expert in the subject, I obliged." ("open", "closed", "base", "mid")
-    gen "Taking any opportunity you can to show off, I see." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "Taking any and every opportunity to show off, I see." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
 
     show her_flirt_public_flitwick zorder 15 as cg with fade
 
-    her "So I made my way to the front of the class, next to Proffessor Flitwick, and began casting the spell to make a feather float in the air."
+    her "So, I made my way to the front of the class, next to Professor Flitwick, and began casting the spell, making the feather float in the air."
-    her "But, as I was explaining the proper swishing and flicking motions, I realised--"
+    her "But, as I was explaining the proper swishing and flicking motions, it is when I realized--"
     gen "You weren't getting praised enough?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-    her "I had already showed the class how to cast that spell ages ago."
+    her "I had already showed the class how to cast that particular spell ages ago."
-    her "So, there must've been some ulterior motive as to why he's have me do it again."
+    her "It made me think, there must've been some ulterior motive as to why would Professor have me do it again."
-    gen "You sure, he's not just forgetful? I forget to take my forgetfulness medication all the time." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "Maybe he's just forgetful? I forget to take my medication all the time." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head") #unspecified medication makes it funnier
-    her "He did it to take advantage of me, but unfortunately for him, \"forgetting\" that we've already learned the spell made that very clear to me!"
+    her "I am sure he did it to take advantage of me, but unfortunately for him, \"forgetting\" that we've already learned that spell made it very clear to me!"
-    gen "So, what you're saying is that he never actually learned how to cast the spell, and is using his students to do it for him?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "So, what you're saying is he never actually learnt how to cast the spell, and is making his students do it for him?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
 
     show her_flirt_public_flitwick eyes_down as cg with d5
 
-    her "No, he was having me cast that spell as a distraction, so he could slid underneath my legs!"
+    her "No, that isn't what I meant. He was having me cast that spell to distract me, so he could slide under my skirt!"
 
     show her_flirt_public_flitwick mouth_open as cg at hg_pr_flirt_teacher_flitwick_panning
 
     call ctc
 
-    gen "He--{w=0.2} Hold on...{w=0.4} It took you that long to notice a grown-ass man disappearing beneath you?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "He--{w=0.2} Hold on...{w=0.4} Even if your focus was on casting the spell, it took you that long to notice a grown-ass man disappearing beneath you?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     her "He's a half-goblin! Of course I wouldn't notice right away!"
     gen "(Women and their obsession with height...)"
-    gen "Just because the man isn't six feet tall..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "Just because the man isn't six feet tall doesn't mean--..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-    her "W-What?"
+    her "*Huh*?"
     gen "I never thought you'd be so judgmental, [hermione_name]." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     gen "You shouldn't measure people by their height,{w=0.5} but by the size of their--" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     her "[genie_name]-- That's not what I meant! Could you listen to me first, please?"
@@ -152,22 +152,24 @@ label hg_pr_flirt_teacher_T1_E1: # Flitwick
 
     hide cg with fade
 
-    her "Once I dropped the spell, he was already stood right next to me... Almost as if he had apparated." ("angry", "base", "base", "mid")
+    her "Even before I could react and stop him, Professor Flitwick was already standing right beside me... Almost as if he had apparated." ("angry", "base", "base", "mid")
     gen "How exciting." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     gen "Is this all you have for me today, [hermione_name]?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     her "Y-yes..." ("open", "base", "worried", "mid")
     her "But [genie_name], I now know for a fact that professor Flitwick is \"dirty\"!" ("angry", "base", "worried", "mid")
     her "He looked at my panties, [genie_name]!" ("annoyed", "base", "worried", "R")
+
     if hg_pf_admire_panties.counter > 1:
         gen "Didn't you show them off before?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         her "What?" ("open", "base", "base", "mid")
-        gen "I mean, do you think flit-stick has shown this kind of behaviour before?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+        her "That was... different..." ("annoyed", "base", "angry", "R", cheeks="blush")
+        gen "I mean, do you truly believe professor flit-stick has shown this kind of behaviour before?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     else:
         gen "Lucky man." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         her "What?" ("open", "base", "base", "mid")
         gen "Yucky... Man..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-        gen "So, does this flit-stick fella do this to other students as well, you think?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+        gen "So, does this flick-shit fella do this to other students as well, you think?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-    her "*Ehm*... It's \"Professor Flitwick\", [genie_name]." ("normal", "squint", "angry", "mid")
+    her "*Ehm*... It's \"Professor Flitwick\", [genie_name]." ("normal", "squint", "angry", "mid", cheeks=None)
     her "And yes, I don't doubt that this isn't the first time he's done this." ("normal", "squint", "angry", "mid")
     gen "Right. Putting him on my \"Naughty list\" as we speak." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     her "......................" ("annoyed", "squint", "base", "mid")
@@ -176,6 +178,7 @@ label hg_pr_flirt_teacher_T1_E1: # Flitwick
 
     menu:
         "\"Here are your points though.\"":
+            gen "Know that I am a merciful master-- I mean a headmaster." ("annoyed", "squint", "base", "mid")
             her "Really?" ("angry", "base", "worried", "mid")
             her "Thank you so much [genie_name]!" ("smile", "happyCl", "base", "mid")