545 lines
41 KiB
Plaintext
545 lines
41 KiB
Plaintext
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default galadriel1_ITEM = Item("galadriel1_book", "book", _("Tome 1: The Tale of Galadriel"), 100, _("This book tells the story of an elven princess who defies the traditions of her people and chooses to forge her own destiny.\nEffect: Improves imagination."), label="galadriel1_book", limit=1, caption=_("Read"))
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default galadriel2_ITEM = Item("galadriel2_book", "book", _("Tome 2: The Tale of Galadriel"), 200, _("This is a continuation on the story of the elven princess who defies the tradition, with a twist.\nEffect: Improves imagination."), label="galadriel2_book", limit=1, caption=_("Read"))
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default gameofchairs1_ITEM = Item("game_of_chairs1_book", "book", _("Tome 1: Game of Chairs"), 50, _("An epic tale of betrayal, murder and rape. Then some more murder, some more betrayal and some more rape."), label="game_of_chairs1_book", limit=1, caption=_("Read"))
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default gameofchairs2_ITEM = Item("game_of_chairs2_book", "book", _("Tome 2: Game of Chairs"), 100, _("An epic tale of betrayal, murder and rape. Then some more murder, some more betrayal and some more rape."), label="game_of_chairs2_book", limit=1, caption=_("Read"))
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default gameofchairs3_ITEM = Item("game_of_chairs3_book", "book", _("Tome 3: Game of Chairs"), 150, _("An epic tale of betrayal, murder and rape. Then some more murder, some more betrayal and some more rape."), label="game_of_chairs3_book", limit=1, caption=_("Read"))
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default my_dear_waifu_ITEM = Item("my_dear_waifu_book", "book", _("My Dear Waifu"), 250, _("Relive the glory of your high school days and find your ultimate \"waifu\".{size=-3}\n\nEnding 01 {unicode}✘{/unicode}\nEnding 02 {unicode}✘{/unicode}\nEnding 03 {unicode}✘{/unicode}\nEnding 04 {unicode}✘{/unicode}\nEnding 05 {unicode}✘{/unicode}{/size}"), label="waifu_book", limit=1, caption=_("Read"))
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label book_start:
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call weather_sound
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stop music fadeout 1
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play sound "sounds/bookopen.ogg"
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if states.fireplace_started:
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call gen_chibi("read_near_fire")
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with d3
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else:
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call gen_chibi("read")
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with d3
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return
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label book_end:
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play sound "sounds/bookclose.ogg"
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if states.fireplace_started:
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call gen_chibi("read_near_fire_done")
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else:
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call gen_chibi("read_done")
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return
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label galadriel1_book:
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call book_start
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nar "Galadriel - a gentle and gracious elven princess is introduced into the story."
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nar "Galadriel's father - King Methis, and his childhood friend Mofothelis are introduced into the story."
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nar "King Methis makes an announcement. His daughter, princess Galadriel is to be wed to chancellor Mofothelis."
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nar "Galadriel refuses to marry a man who is thrice her age and whom, up until now, she considered only as her uncle."
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nar "King Methis dismisses her daughter's {i}foolish{/i} complaints. Galadriel decides to run away."
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nar "Galadriel manages to leave the royal residence at night unnoticed..."
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nar "King Methis is furious about his daughter's escape. He decides to personally lead the search party."
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nar "Galadriel rides her mare named {i}white dove{/i} through the forest. The Princess enjoys her freedom..."
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nar "After a while she meets a rather handsome human nobleman on a horse..."
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nar "Galadriel rides alongside the nobleman. They exchange meaningless pleasantries, occasionally interrupted with laughter."
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nar "Suddenly the nobleman attacks the princess and knocks her out!"
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nar "When Galadriel comes to, to her horror, she realises that the nobleman is having his way with her."
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nar "Galadriel is screaming for help but the man only laughs at her."
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nar "Galadriel tries to fight the nobleman off. Only now she notices that about half a dozen men are surrounding them. The men are sneering viciously."
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nar "After the nobleman is done with Galadriel, every one of his men in turn has a go at the elven princess. Galadriel cries and begs them to stop."
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nar "Galadriel finds herself in a cage at some sort of market. Her hands are tied, Her noble garments are ripped to shreds and her hair is full of twigs and dry semen."
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nar "A fat, rich looking man buys Galadriel and brings her to his house. The princess does not cry anymore. She is happy to be out of the cage."
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nar "Galadriel is allowed to take a bath after which a servant brings her clean clothes and some food."
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nar "Galadriel is starting to feel hopeful but it does not last. Soon she realises what kind of establishment this is: a whorehouse."
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nar "The elven princess is forced to work as a whore. She detests her new life but has very little choice."
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nar "Galadriel gains popularity quickly. Humans, Dark Elves and even the occasionally dwarfs - she spreads her legs for everyone."
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nar "The fame of the young and beautiful elven whore spreads. Galadriel accepts her new life in the brothel."
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nar "Suddenly and abruptly everything changes. Galadriel finds out that she is pregnant."
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nar "The end."
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call book_end
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gen "What the fuck did I just read?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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if states.env.daytime:
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jump night_start
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else:
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jump day_start
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label galadriel2_book:
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call book_start
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nar "Galadriel has been pregnant for several months now. To the princess' own surprise her popularity grows seemingly in direct correlation to the size of her belly."
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nar "Although Galadriel maintains the appearance of an obedient whore, in truth she contemplates her escape from the brothel."
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nar "The Elven Royal-Whore knows nothing of the life outside the walls of the brothel. But it does not affect her determination to escape."
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nar "It takes a lot of preparation and careful planning but Galadriel manages to successfully escape from the brothel."
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nar "Galadriel soon gets lost in the vast city and is forced to spend the night on the street."
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nar "Food is hard to come by on the streets. Galadriel fights a pack of stray dogs over some scraps and one of them bites her hand badly."
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nar "The now pregnant Galadriel offers her {i}company{/i} to a couple of filthy-looking homeless men in exchange for food. She spends the night with them."
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nar "Galadriel realises that her life back in the brothel wasn't so bad compared to the live she's been leading for the past several days. She decides to return."
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nar "Galadriel's owner - the fat, wealthy man does not punish Galadriel for escaping. He is happy to have one of his most popular girls back."
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nar "Galadriel is, yet again, warm, fed, and full of cum. She is glad to be back and as popular as ever."
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nar "Galadriel keeps servicing the clients throughout the rest of her pregnancy. The baby is due any day now..."
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nar "A wealthy man wearing a mask booked Galadriel for an entire day. Galadriel is wondering about the man's true identity rather lazily while pleasuring him."
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nar "The mystery man spends the entire day by having his way with Galadriel. Her engorged breasts drip milk heavily as the man fucks her."
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nar "The masked man splatters Galadriel's face with cum for the second time today. He then chooses to reveal his identity and takes his mask off."
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nar "Galadriel recognises the man as her father - King Methis. Only now he realises that the pregnant whore he fucked for hours is his long lost daughter."
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nar "The man embraces his speechless child. Galadriel's eyes have a vacant look in them as her father's semen drips down her face..."
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nar "Galadriel screams in terror. To her surprise she finds herself back in the royal residence and in her own bed."
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nar "It takes the elven princess several minutes to realise that she never was pregnant. The entire adventure was nothing but a dream."
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nar "Galadriel rushes to her father's chambers and embraces him. The girl is relived to have her old life \"back\". She happy agrees to marry chancellor Mofothelis."
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nar "Galadriel is at the altar. She is content and happy. Suddenly she notices something that fills her heart with horror. There is a scar on her hand. The mark of a dog's bite."
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nar "The end."
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call book_end
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gen "..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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if states.env.daytime:
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jump night_start
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else:
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jump day_start
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label game_of_chairs1_book:
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call book_start
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nar "A new race of half-frozen undead monsters is introduced into the story."
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nar "A family of noble northmen is introduced into the story."
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nar "A group of people known as Watchmen are introduced into the story."
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nar "Half-frozen undead attack the Watchmen killing everyone but one man who flees the massacre."
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nar "The survivor is captured and executed for desertion."
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nar "A bitch gives birth to six pups, later they are given to the children of the Nobles in the north."
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nar "The royal family of the south and the king are introduced into the story."
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nar "The right hand of the south king suddenly dies."
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nar "South King travels North with intention of marrying his son to a Northmen noble."
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nar "Children of the Northmen Nobles send their mother a letter pertaining the sudden demise of the King's right hand."
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nar "The mother believes Southmen plot against the South King."
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nar "South King and his family arrive at the capital of the Northmen."
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nar "South Queen is having sex with her own brother. A little boy is traumatised for life after catching them in the act."
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nar "The little boy is traumatised further after attempted child murder takes place. The kid barely survives and is now in a coma."
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nar "A new family from across the sea is introduced into the story."
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nar "The exiled prince from across the sea plans to forcefully trade his sister in exchange for the army from the local barbarians."
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nar "The child-murdering, sister-fucker brags about killing the previous South King, earning himself a king-slayer title."
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nar "The sister of the exiled prince from across the sea is given three ostrich-like eggs as a wedding gift."
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nar "Noble Northman is appointed the new right hand of the South King."
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nar "Child-murdering, king-slaying, sister-fucker sends an assassin to finish the job, but the mother and his dog kill off the attacker."
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nar "The mother is not amused and suspects the Southmen are at fault."
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nar "Noble Northman sends off his bastard son to serve as a Watchman up North for the rest of his days."
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nar "He's also forced to take a vow of chastity."
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gen "Damn. Serving someone for eternity is one thing, but not being able to fuck is just cruel." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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nar "The bastard gives his tomboy sister a sword the size of a needle."
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nar "A dwarf is introduced into the story."
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nar "South Queen's oldest son, The Bratty Prince, kills a Northmen Commoner and threatens to kill Noble Northmen tomboy."
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nar "Tomboy's overgrown dog bites the Bratty Prince."
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nar "South Queen demands the dog to be killed, but Tomboy releases it to the wild."
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nar "South Queen demands tomboy's sister dog is killed instead."
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nar "The very traumatised boy wakes up from comma and learns that he will be crippled for life, deepening his trauma."
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nar "In the meantime the exiled princess from across the sea friendzones a disgraced knight. Then she gets raped by her newly wed barbarous husband."
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nar "South king laments about his debt issues."
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nar "Mother of the traumatised child plans on telling her husband about the ordeal but is stopped when she meets her old friend with a peculiar nickname, Littletoe."
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gen "*He-he-he*" ("grin", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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nar "The virgin bastard struggles to find his place among Watchmen."
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nar "The exiled princess is now pregnant and experiences a Stockholm syndrome."
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nar "The princess threatens her brother."
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nar "The dwarf brother of the king-slayer gives a horse saddle to the crippled boy his brother tried to kill."
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nar "The new right hand of the South King investigates the demise of his predecessor, finding that his king has a bastard child."
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nar "A tournament takes place."
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nar "The Bastard Virgin befriends a certain chubby Watchman."
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nar "Across the sea, the exiled prince has a fight with his sister."
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nar "One of the Noble Northwomen daydreams about becoming a queen while her tomboy sister dreams of becoming a boy."
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nar "Crippled boy's mother plans to arrest the dwarf because she believes he's responsible for the traumatic experiences of her child."
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nar "A man with no balls is introduced into the story. He turns out to be a spy of the South King."
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nar "South king learns that the exiled princess is pregnant and plans killing her, but his advisor talks him out of it."
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nar "Right hand of the South King hands in his resignation, angering the king."
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nar "Queen's brother, the sister-fucker, learns that their dwarf brother is being kept captive by the mother of the child they tried murdering."
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nar "Sister-fucker wounds the king's advisor who just resigned."
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nar "The king rips the letter of resignation, forcing his advisor to remain."
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nar "Some execution takes place."
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nar "King's advisor discovers that two sons of the king are not his."
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nar "The traumatised boy learns how to ride a horse, but is attacked by North-Northmen."
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nar "Noble Northmen rally the lands of the king who's fallen to the rebels, rescue him and enslave a random North-Northwoman."
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nar "The dwarf bargains his life for freedom through a fair trial."
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nar "The dwarf and the mother appoint their fighters, the dwarf's fighter wins."
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gen "*Gah* Nobles.. Always asking someone else to do their bidding." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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nar "The exiled prince grows inpatient waiting for his barbarous troops and threatens to kill his sister's barbarous unborn child."
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nar "His sister's newly wed husband kills him by pouring molten gold on his head."
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gen "*heh* That's just golden." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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nar "King's advisor confronts the Queen about her incestuous love."
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nar "The king gets wounded by a boar and dies."
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nar "Dead King's advisor sends a letter to Dead King's brother, informing him about his brother's unfaithful wife."
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nar "Dead King's advisor confronts the Queen and the Bratty Prince and gets taken prisoner as a result."
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gen "It's as if he's looking to get beheaded." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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nar "Dead King's assassin is caught by the friendzoned knight while he was trying to poison the pregnant exiled princess from across the sea."
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nar "The barbarous soon-to-be daddy is not amused and vows to conquer them all."
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nar "The tomboy and her sister flee north but one of them gets captured."
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nar "Noble Northmen prepare the armies in attempt to free their sister."
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nar "The traumatised, crippled boy is left behind to rule the North."
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nar "Mother of the traumatised boy visits her sister and her milk-drinker of a son."
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nar "The dwarf while heading back South is captured by the local tribesmen."
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nar "Watchmen discover how half-frozen undead are born."
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nar "Barbarous soon-to-be daddy does barbarous things but gets wounded in the process."
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nar "Bratty prince appoints his grandpa as new King's Advisor."
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nar "Daughter of the Dead King's Imprisoned Advisor begs the Bratty Prince for the life of her father."
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nar "An entire nation of Seamen is introduced into the story."
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nar "Mother of the crippled boy asks Seamen for help, in exchange offers her two daughters."
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nar "The virgin bastard receives praise for his service and is given a steel sword."
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nar "Barbarian husband is on the brink of death, his wife tries some slave magic to save him."
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nar "The wife goes into labour and is being assisted by her friendzoned knight."
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nar "A lot of Northmen die in a fight with the Southmen, and the king-slayer gets captured by Northmen."
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nar "Northmen plan to trade the sister-fucker for their people, but South Queen turns them down."
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nar "Dead King's Imprisoned Advisor swears loyalty to the Bratty Prince, hoping to not lose his head."
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gen "Finally the man has seen reason." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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nar "He gets beheaded anyway and his children are forced to watch."
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gen "Well, fuck." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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nar "Northmen rebel against other kingdoms and proclaim independence. Headless man's son is appointed as King of the North."
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nar "Usurpers fight over the South Throne."
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nar "King's Advisor appoints his son, the dwarf as the new advisor."
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nar "The virgin bastard attempts escaping from the Watchmen but his virgin brothers convince him to stay."
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nar "The tomboy escapes the South Kingdom disguised as a boy."
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gen "Surprise, surprise..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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nar "The Bratty Prince plans on marrying the daughter of the man he just executed."
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nar "Exiled princess gives birth, but her child is born deformed and dead. The slave magic backfired, leaving her husband in a vegetative state."
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nar "She decides to end her husband's life."
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nar "A funeral pyre is prepared, the princess hides her three ostrich-sized eggs inside."
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nar "The witch is captured by barbarians and placed on the funeral pyre alive and set afire."
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nar "Despite the pleas of the friendzoned knight, the mourning wife walks into the flames herself."
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nar "When the embers die the following morning, the princess is found in the ashes, unharmed, flanked by three newly-hatched baby dragons."
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nar "Friendzoned knight and other barbarians pay tribute to their new Queen of Dragons."
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nar "\"This is the way.\" They say unanimously."
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nar "The end."
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call book_end
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gen "The author of this book has some serious issues." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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gen "I wonder if it's even worth picking up the continuation..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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if states.env.daytime:
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jump night_start
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else:
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jump day_start
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label game_of_chairs2_book:
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call book_start
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nar "A very hot sorceress is introduced into the story."
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nar "The brother of the South King murdered by a boar, The Usurper King, is planning to take the South Throne for himself, with the help of his sexy sorceress."
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nar "The Bratty Prince wants all bastard sons of his father dead, unbeknown of his own bastardly blood."
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nar "The King of the North offers peace to the Southmen in exchange for legal independence and his sisters' safety."
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nar "The King of the North sends his mum and his friend to seek alliance with another royal usurper."
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nar "Some Watchmen take shelter in a house whose owner is having sexual relationship with his many daughters."
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nar "Virgin Watchmen are unamused."
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nar "Newly titled Queen of Dragons struggles keeping her people fed and alive."
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nar "North King's friend reaches the kingdom of Seamen."
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nar "North King's friend is finally reunited with his father and sister."
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nar "The father shames his son by saying he's not worthy of being called a Seaman any more."
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nar "South Queen rejects the peace treaty proposed by the North King and new King's Advisor, the dwarf, exiles the head of the guards to become a Watchman."
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nar "The tomboy disguised as a boy admits her true identity to a boy she likes."
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nar "Chubby Watchman is approached by one of the daughters that sleeps with her father, explaining she's afraid for her unborn child."
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nar "Chubby Watchman asks The Bastard for help, but in his virginal jealousness he refuses."
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nar "Queen of Dragons receives a severed head as a gift from an unknown party."
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nar "A servant of The Usurper King recruits a pirate fleet to aid them."
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nar "The Usurper King tries his luck in siring an heir with the hot sorceress, after his wife fails to produce a son."
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nar "The Bastard uncovers the morbid mystery of the lack of male lineage in his host's house."
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nar "Shortly after, The Bastard gets knocked out cold by the host."
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nar "North King's mum arrives at yet another usurper's camp to negotiate alliance. The usurper turns out to be recently wed."
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nar "A bad-ass female warrior is introduced into the story."
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nar "The Married Usurper refuses to consummate his marriage because he turns out to be gay."
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nar "The Gay but Married Usurper is shown banging his wife's brother in graphic details."
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gen "Poor wife." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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nar "Father of the North King's friend plans an attack on the Northmen with his daughter."
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nar "North King's friend decides to end the friendship by joining his father and sister's vendetta against Northmen."
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nar "The dwarf appoints his favourite whore as Headless Man's daughter handmaiden."
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nar "The Watchmen are forced to leave their shelter because the host is 'in the mood' and needs space."
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nar "When heading south to reach the North Kingdom, Watchmen are attacked by Southmen."
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nar "Someone dies. Tomboy disguised as a boy and the bastard friend she likes are taken prisoner."
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nar "North King's mum attempts to reunite all usurpers but they bicker about the throne."
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nar "Littletoe visits North King's mum and offers her daughters' lives for the sister-fucker."
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nar "Out of nowhere, the hot sorceress gives birth to a demon baby."
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gen "What the fuck?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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nar "The Bratty Prince publicly abuses his betrothed and shames her dead father."
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nar "The dwarf, King's Advisor, sends two prostitutes to his chamber, in order to calm his temper."
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nar "The Bratty king makes the prostitutes brutally beat each other or be killed, but the dwarf intervenes."
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gen "How dare he! That little shit!" ("angry", xpos="far_left", ypos="head") # Genie obviously means the prince.
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nar "The dwarf discovers that his sister is having an incestuous relationship with their cousin."
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nar "The dwarf blackmails the cousin into spying on his lover."
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nar "The tomboy disguised as a boy and her friend, the bastard child of the dead king, are taken to a local torture chamber."
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nar "The grandpa of the Bratty soon-to-be King visits the torture chambers and recognizes the tomboy disguised as a boy, as just tomboy and makes her his servant."
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nar "After forty days of wandering the desert, the Queen of Dragons and her sickly barbarians find shelter at a desert city."
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nar "The Tomboy Servant frees three men from the torture chambers."
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nar "One of the rescued men promises to kill three men she fingers, the first choice is the torturer."
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nar "The hot sorceresses' demon baby kills the Usurper King's Gay Usurper brother."
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nar "Dead Gay Usurper's army decides to join the killer of their leader. Except his wife and mother-in-law."
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gen "Damn. I was not expecting that." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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nar "The bad-ass female warrior swears fealty to North King's mum."
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nar "North King's treacherous friend, against his sister's orders plans to capture the Northmen's Capital during the absence of the North King."
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nar "The dwarf learns that barrels filled with oil float on water and make a great water minefield."
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nar "A group of Watchmen arrives at an ancient fortress called 'Fisting of the First Men' with the intention of raiding it."
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nar "Some council member proposes marriage to the Queen of Dragons, in exchange for his wealth."
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nar "The friendzoned knight is unamused and advises her to gain the trust of the people another way."
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nar "Against South Queen's wishes, her dwarf brother sends his niece to France for safety."
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nar "North King's treacherous friend captures the Northmen's capital and executes one of his old friends."
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nar "The long ago captured North-Northwoman helps the crippled boy, his challenged servant, and his friend escape."
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nar "The Virgin Bastard captures himself a North-Northwoman but she escapes."
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nar "The Bratty soon-to-be King incites a riot in which he almost dies, and his betrothed almost gets raped."
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gen "What did he want to achieve? Stupid." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
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nar "Bratty soon-to-be King's grandpa allows Littletoe to seek alliance abroad, in France."
|
|
nar "An officer who suspected the Tomboy Servant's true identity now lays dead. That was her second wish."
|
|
nar "North King receives news about his treacherous friend's doing and sends men to retake the capital."
|
|
nar "Queen of Dragons starts building herself an Ark for the money borrowed from the wealthy noble who proposed to her."
|
|
nar "In the meantime someone steals her dragons, making her a Queen of Stolen Dragons."
|
|
nar "Treacherous friend is looking for brothers of the friend he betrayed and plans on killing them."
|
|
nar "The grandpa of the Bratty soon-to-be king is looking for the killer of the officer that was recently found."
|
|
nar "The Virgin Bastard recaptures the North-Northwoman but she escapes his clutches again, leading him to a trap."
|
|
nar "South Queen warns her son's betrothed that she should love no one else but her own children."
|
|
nar "Sister-fucker escapes from North King's prison but has left a trail."
|
|
nar "Some highly regarded warlock admits to Queen of the Stolen Dragons that he stole the dragons and offers them back."
|
|
nar "The city council gets slaughtered and the noble who proposed marriage to the Queen of Dragons is made King."
|
|
nar "The treacherous friend burns two children of the local commoners and presents them as the brothers of the friend he betrayed."
|
|
nar "North King learns that his own mum secretly freed the sister-fucker, escorted by the bad-ass female warrior, in order to exchange him for his sisters."
|
|
nar "North King gives his mum house arrest."
|
|
nar "North King seeks a medic to heal his boner. He succeeds."
|
|
nar "Sister of the treacherous friend arrives at Northmen's Seized Capital and criticises him for it."
|
|
nar "Grandpa of the Bratty soon-to-be King leaves the capital with his army."
|
|
nar "The Tomboy Servant, her friend, the man that kills for her, and Hot Pie escape."
|
|
|
|
gen "Hot pie? What?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
nar "South Queen blackmails her dwarf brother by abducting one of the local whores."
|
|
nar "The Bratty soon-to-be king ridicules the man with no balls, who happens to be his spy and plans on attacking the Usurper King."
|
|
nar "The North-Northmen capture the Virgin Bastard and lead him to the North-North King."
|
|
nar "The watchmen whom raided the ancient fortress find a stash full of weapons made of glass."
|
|
nar "The friendzoned Knight accompanies the Queen of Stolen Dragons in order to retrieve the stolen dragons."
|
|
nar "The Usurper's king fleet attacks Southmen's Capital."
|
|
nar "The betrothed of the bratty soon-to-be king convinces him to lead the defence forces, hoping he gets killed."
|
|
nar "The Bratty soon-to-be King chickens out."
|
|
|
|
gen "Well. I can't blame her for trying." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
nar "The dwarf takes over the forces and leads the defense."
|
|
nar "The oil barrel minefield turns out to be very effective."
|
|
nar "One of the defence leaders calls the Bratty soon-to-be King a coward and resigns."
|
|
nar "The Usurper's forces rally the castle, the Bratty, cowardly soon-to-be King holds on his mum's skirt in fear."
|
|
nar "South Queen takes her other, younger son, and plans to kill him to save him from being captured."
|
|
|
|
gen "What was it again? 'Love her children more than anything' she said *huh*?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
nar "The whore handmaiden of cowardly soon-to-be king's betrothed and the betrothed herself hide in the castle."
|
|
nar "A rather ugly Southman soldier offers to take the girl home, but she refuses."
|
|
nar "The dwarf lies wounded. Cowardly soon-to-be king's grandpa comes to the rescue, forcing the usurper king to retreat."
|
|
nar "The Cowardly soon-to-be King decides that he's bored of his betrothed, breaking their engagement as he plans to marry one of the French girls."
|
|
nar "The dwarf is worried for his whores when his father is appointed as King's Advisor again."
|
|
nar "The Usurper King is being comforted by the hot sorceress."
|
|
nar "The bad-ass female warrior protects the sister-fucker from his demise."
|
|
nar "North King's mum fails to talk her son out of marrying one of the local girls."
|
|
nar "The Queen of Stolen Dragons gets high and sees her dead husband and her dead child."
|
|
nar "One of the dragons had a gastric reflux and burnt the warlock. The warlock and the noble were planning on betraying her anyway. The noble is locked up."
|
|
nar "Treacherous friend of the North King demands his men to bring the fight to the North King, so they knock him out cold."
|
|
nar "Northmen's Capitol is burnt to the ground."
|
|
nar "After the Tomboy, her friend, the man who kills for her, and Hot Pie escape..."
|
|
|
|
gen "This Hot Pie again...?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
nar "...The tomboy is given a worthless coin by the killer, that will allow her to be led to him."
|
|
nar "Before the man departs, his face magically changes to the face of another man."
|
|
nar "The Virgin Bastard is forced to kill one of his friends to prove himself to the North-Northmen."
|
|
nar "An army of half-frozen undead surrounds the ancient fortress named 'Fisting of the First Men'."
|
|
nar "The chubby watchman pisses himself as he sees them pass."
|
|
nar "The end."
|
|
|
|
call book_end
|
|
|
|
gen "There's so much going on I don't even know how to describe it all." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
gen "I doubt that's the last book in the series though." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
if states.env.daytime:
|
|
jump night_start
|
|
else:
|
|
jump day_start
|
|
|
|
label game_of_chairs3_book:
|
|
call book_start
|
|
|
|
nar "A massacre takes place."
|
|
nar "Chubby Watchman and the rest of his friends that survived the attack of the half-frozen undead decide to retreat."
|
|
nar "After his imprisonment, The Virgin bastard decides to switch sides and joins North-Northmen."
|
|
nar "Littletoe offers the dwarf's betrothed to return her to her lands but she again refuses."
|
|
nar "The Usurper King's servant tries to kill the hot sorceress and gets imprisoned."
|
|
nar "Queen of Dragons plans to expand her army."
|
|
nar "South Queen's brother and his bad-ass female warrior companion travel south but get captured by Seamen."
|
|
nar "A funeral takes place."
|
|
nar "The Tomboy disguised as a boy, her friend and Hot Pie rest at a local inn."
|
|
nar "Burnt-faced man discovers the identity of the tomboy disguised as a boy."
|
|
nar "Dwarf's betrothed gossips about the Bratty soon-to-be King with his soon-to-be mother-in-law."
|
|
nar "Treacherous friend gets tortured by unknown captors."
|
|
nar "The cripple, his challenged servant and North-Northwoman encounter other children nobles."
|
|
nar "One of the noble children tells the cripple that he can enter the minds of animals."
|
|
nar "Littletoe is sent with the intention that he marry milk-drinker's mum."
|
|
nar "Hot Pie is employed by the Inn. The tomboy disguised as a boy and her friend split up with Hot Pie."
|
|
|
|
gen "I still have no damn clue who that Hot Pie is, but I'm happy for them. I guess." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
nar "The Virgin Bastard plans on attacking the Watchmen with North-Northmen."
|
|
nar "The North-Northwoman stolen by the chubby watchman is carrying a child of her own father and soon enough gives birth."
|
|
nar "The Treacherous Friend is being freed by an unknown man."
|
|
nar "Hot sorceress travels south, looking for more royal blood."
|
|
|
|
gen "She must be thirsty." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
nar "Queen of Dragons wants to trade one of her dragons for 8,000 eunuchs and an interpreter."
|
|
nar "Sister-fucker bets his right hand that his travel companion won't get raped by their captors."
|
|
nar "She's safe, but sister-fucker loses a hand anyway, earning himself a new title."
|
|
nar "The Treacherous Friend's rescuer betrays him, puts him in a cell and starts torturing him again."
|
|
nar "One-handed Sister-fucker child-murdering king-slayer and his bad-ass female warrior companion try escaping but fail."
|
|
nar "A man with no balls tells the dwarf a story how he lost his jewels."
|
|
nar "Watchmen are at war with Watchmen."
|
|
nar "A chubby watchman decides to adopt the North-Northwoman's incest child and flee south with them."
|
|
nar "The tomboy disguised as a boy and her friend are taken to a cave by the brotherhood."
|
|
nar "Dwarf's betrothed is given a proposition to marry another man but it turns out the man is gay, and French."
|
|
nar "Queen of Dragons after acquiring her eunuch army, tricks the slavers she traded with and kills them."
|
|
nar "One of the eunuchs is appointed as leader of the eunuch army."
|
|
nar "The Dwarf is concerned about his family's financial debts."
|
|
nar "The dwarf discovers that his betrothed is planning to marry a gay man, so he sets his sister -- The Queen -- to marry the gay man instead."
|
|
nar "Dwarf's betrothed tells Littletoe that she wants to remain in South Kingdom and asks for a green card."
|
|
nar "The father of the dwarf discovers that his son's betrothed was planning to marry the gay French man."
|
|
nar "The Usurper King tells his wife he's been unfaithful to her. She tells him that she's happy for him."
|
|
nar "The Usurper King's daughter teaches his attempted-murderer of a servant how to read."
|
|
nar "In the caves of the brotherhood, two people have a duel to death, one of them dies."
|
|
nar "The man that died during the duel is resurrected."
|
|
|
|
gen "Bloody cheater." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
nar "When sister-fucker and his bad-ass companion reach the city of Seamen, he brags about how he killed the previous-previous South King with one hand."
|
|
nar "North King gets bored and executes some of his men."
|
|
nar "The Virgin Bastard is seduced by the woman he was chasing all this time."
|
|
nar "The Bastard is no longer a virgin."
|
|
nar "The grandpa of the Bratty soon-to-be King coerces future mother-in-law to marry The Queen, his daughter, to mother-in-law's son."
|
|
nar "The dwarf informs his betrothed and her whore of a handmaiden that they're now engaged. She acts surprised."
|
|
nar "South Queen tells her dwarf brother, that her son was hoping to see him dead during the last siege."
|
|
nar "Littletoe tells the man with no balls about the dead informant that the Bratty soon-to-be King has killed."
|
|
nar "The hot sorceress stops by the brotherhood and decides to buy herself a young boy, who happens to be tomboy's friend."
|
|
nar "North King tries to reconcile with the Seamen."
|
|
nar "Treacherous Tortured Friend is still being tortured."
|
|
nar "A cripple starts looking for a multi-eyed bird."
|
|
nar "The no-longer-a-virgin bastard is still with the North-Northwoman, their loud relationship angers the locals."
|
|
nar "Treacherous Tortured Friend gets gelded, losing his family jewels in the process."
|
|
|
|
gen "That's fucked up man..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
nar "The tomboy escapes the brotherhood but is captured in the process."
|
|
nar "Hot sorceress tells tomboy's friend that he is a son of the king who was killed by a boar."
|
|
nar "The handmaiden whore threatens the dwarf that their relationship will end if he marries his betrothed."
|
|
nar "The bratty soon-to-be king and his Grandpa joke about rumoured Queen of Dragons."
|
|
nar "Queen of Dragons sieges another city."
|
|
nar "One-handed sister-fucker waves goodbye after attending an unimportant wedding ceremony."
|
|
nar "Bad-ass female warrior is fighting in a pit, one-handed sister-fucker decides to lend her a hand."
|
|
nar "The dwarf and his betrothed get married."
|
|
nar "Father of the dwarf demands he sire an heir, and soon, but the dwarf's new wife has a permanent migraine."
|
|
nar "The captured tomboy is prepared to be sold to her brother for ransom."
|
|
nar "The attempted-murderer of a servant is let free."
|
|
nar "Hot sorceress seduces her boy-toy and puts leeches on him to suck out his royal blood."
|
|
|
|
gen "First birthing demons now sucking some poor boy, and not in the fun way. That bitch is out of her mind." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
nar "The Usurper King throws the leeches into the fire and curses other usurpers."
|
|
nar "Queen of Dragons seduces the enemy's lieutenant, making him switch sides."
|
|
nar "Chubby Watchman, his step-son and his lover get attacked by half-frozen undead."
|
|
nar "Chubby Watchman trips over and stabs the half-frozen undead with a glass dagger and kills it. They flee back north."
|
|
nar "Meanwhile the crippled boy has learnt magic and decides to practice it on his challenged servant."
|
|
nar "The bastard refuses to kill an innocent man, but his girlfriend has no such moral dilemmas."
|
|
nar "The bastard is being labelled a coward and is forced to flee, with the help of his step-brother's overgrown dog."
|
|
nar "His girlfriend becomes his ex-girlfriend."
|
|
nar "Queen of Dragons infiltrates the city, asking the slaves she's found to join her, which they do."
|
|
nar "North King once again tries to reconcile with the Seamen."
|
|
nar "Seamen in return kill his mother, his friends and finally they kill him too."
|
|
nar "Dead North King's sister appears at the time of the massacre but is rescued to safety by a man with burnt face."
|
|
nar "Seamen are rewarded by the South Queen for killing the North King."
|
|
nar "The now Gelded, Tortured, Treacherous friend learns that his own men traded him for a free passage."
|
|
|
|
gen "Balls. It's almost as if the book author had a personal vendetta against that poor guy..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
nar "Sister of the Gelded, Tortured, Treacherous friend plans on freeing her brother."
|
|
nar "The tomboy and her burnt-faced rescuer go rampage."
|
|
nar "The one-handed sister-fucker is finally reunited with his Queen. They shake hands."
|
|
nar "Chubby Watchman and his family meet the now magically fluent crippled boy and his companions."
|
|
nar "The family decides to give them their glass weapon."
|
|
nar "Chubby Watchman warns other kingdoms about half-frozen undead."
|
|
nar "The Bastard's ex-girlfriend finds him and shoots him three times with an arrow at point-blank range."
|
|
|
|
gen "Shouldn't have put your dick in crazy." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
nar "The Bastard says it's just a flesh wound and walks it off."
|
|
|
|
gen "Right..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
nar "The attempted-murderer of a servant tries freeing the hot sorceresses boy-toy to prevent him from being sucked to death."
|
|
nar "Queen of Dragons wins the battle and basks in her glory."
|
|
nar "The end."
|
|
|
|
call book_end
|
|
|
|
gen "I don't know what's with the frequent mentions of balls removal, tortures, and death but colour me morbidly curious." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
if states.env.daytime:
|
|
jump night_start
|
|
else:
|
|
jump day_start
|
|
|
|
label quidditch_guide_book:
|
|
call book_start
|
|
|
|
nar "Quidditch - One of the most popular sports in the wizarding world is a team based sport played on broomsticks..."
|
|
nar "Two opposing teams with seven people making up each team go up against each other..."
|
|
nar "The game is played using four balls... One quaffle, two bludgers and one snitch."
|
|
nar "The beginning of the match is signalled by the quaffle being thrown into the air by the referee..."
|
|
nar "Quidditch, unlike many other sports is played on an oval shaped pitch with a scoring area on each end..."
|
|
nar "Much like other sports, you're not allowed to go outside the boundary lines with the quaffle or you'd have to hand it over to the opposing team..."
|
|
nar "When the game is set in motion each player takes their assigned positions."
|
|
nar "There's three chasers, two beaters, one keeper and one seeker..."
|
|
nar "The chasers purpose is to score the Quaffle. Beaters on the other hand is to hit them with the bludgers as to knock the ball out of their grasp..."
|
|
nar "The keeper blocks the goal and the seeker needs to catch the snitch."
|
|
nar "As most injuries are easily remedied through magical means there's nothing to stop a player from knocking into one another as to get a hold of the Quaffle."
|
|
nar "Distraction tactics are also common even during official matches..."
|
|
nar "The way scoring is done is when the chaser has a hold of the quaffle they need to get to the opponent's side of the pitch and score it by getting it through a hoop..."
|
|
nar "The winning team is decided once the snitch is caught which is worth 150 points to the team of which seeker caught it. Therefore a match could technically go on forever..."
|
|
nar "The longest Quidditch match went on for about 3 months..."
|
|
|
|
call book_end
|
|
|
|
if quidditchguide_ITEM.used:
|
|
gen "I already knew all of that nonsense..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
else:
|
|
gen "Bludgers and quaffles?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
gen "This is even more stupid than I imagined." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
|
|
|
|
$ quidditchguide_ITEM.used = True
|
|
if states.env.daytime:
|
|
jump night_start
|
|
else:
|
|
jump day_start
|