Proofreading

game/scripts/characters/astoria/chitchats.rpy

@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@ label astoria_chitchat:
     #
     # elif ag_st_imperio.counter == 2:
     #     ast "I've heard about some students taking private tutoring from other teachers..." ("open", "base", "base", "mid")
-    #     ast "When Professor Tonks asked me to let her tutor me I didn't think it was going to be so...{w=0.5} hands on..." ("annoyed", "narrow", "angry", "R")
+    #     ast "When Professor Tonks asked me to let her tutor me, I didn't think it was going to be so...{w=0.5} hands on..." ("annoyed", "narrow", "angry", "R")
     #
     # elif ag_st_imperio.counter == 3:
     #     ast "This spell training thing is so easy, Tonks doesn't seem to be able to resist me at all." ("smile", "narrow", "base", "R")
@@ -56,8 +56,8 @@ label astoria_chitchat:
         block:
             ast "I found the perfect use for the Wingardium leviosa charm today..." ("smile", "base", "base", "mid")
             ast "Granger was being especially annoying, prancing around one of the corridors, so I used it to lift her skirt up!" ("open", "base", "angry", "down")
-            ast @ cheeks blush "But she didn't even see that I did it! she just punched that Weasley boy on the arm." ("angry", "narrow", "base", "down")
+            ast @ cheeks blush "But she didn't even see that I did it! She just punched that Weasley boy on the arm." ("angry", "narrow", "base", "down")
-            ast "Snap-- {i}Professor{/i} Snape saw it though. I thought I was in trouble for a moment, but he just corrected me on my pronunciation." ("grin", "narrow", "base", "mid")
+            ast "Snap-- {i}Professor{/i} Snape saw it, though. I thought I was in trouble for a moment, but he just corrected me on my pronunciation." ("grin", "narrow", "base", "mid")
 
         block:
             ast "I've still not been able to cast spells properly without saying the words." ("open", "base", "base", "mid")
@@ -68,7 +68,7 @@ label astoria_chitchat:
             ast "I already asked Professor McGonagall, but she didn't want to teach it to us for some reason..." ("annoyed", "base", "angry", "mid")
 
         block:
-            ast "I used a switching spell to swap one of the female Hufflepuff student clothes with one of the Gryffindor boys." ("smile", "base", "angry", "mid")
+            ast "I used a switching spell to swap one of the clothes of a female Hufflepuff student with one of the Gryffindor boy's." ("smile", "base", "angry", "mid")
             ast "You should've seen the confusion and horror on their faces..." ("grin", "narrow", "base", "L")
 
         block:
@@ -83,7 +83,7 @@ label astoria_chitchat:
             ast "Rules are meant to be broken. We break the laws of physics all the time so how come most teachers are so strict?" ("annoyed", "base", "angry", "mid")
 
         block:
-            ast "I was bored during class and doodled a bit on one of the books I brought from the library and it started smacking me on the head." ("upset", "narrow", "angry", "mid")
+            ast "I was bored during class and doodled a bit on one of the books I brought from the library, and it started smacking me on the head." ("upset", "narrow", "angry", "mid")
             ast "Why is Miss Pince allowed to jinx books when I get in trouble for making somebody's quill turn into a worm when touched?" ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
 
         block:
@@ -95,7 +95,7 @@ label astoria_chitchat:
             ast "I can't wait to drop the subject once I finish my {i}O.W.L.{/i}s." ("base", "narrow", "base", "down")
 
         block:
-            ast "Professor Snape always seem to look at me whenever something goes wrong during his class... as if it's always going to be me who did it." ("annoyed", "narrow", "angry", "R")
+            ast "Professor Snape always seems to look at me whenever something goes wrong during his class... As if it's always going to be me who did it." ("annoyed", "narrow", "angry", "R")
-            ast "I mean, I might have but you can't prove anything..." ("upset", "narrow", "base", "down")
+            ast "I mean, I might have, but you can't prove anything..." ("upset", "narrow", "base", "down")
 
     return

game/scripts/characters/astoria/events/imperio_training.rpy

@@ -441,7 +441,7 @@ label ag_st_imperio_E2:
             gen "I have to say, I'm not that impressed..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             ton "You aren't?" ("open", "wide", "shocked", "mid")
             ast "But, Professor!" ("clench", "base", "worried", "mid")
-            gen "Tonks, would you please do the noise again..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+            gen "Tonks, would you please make the noise again..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             ton "The noise, Professor?" ("soft", "base", "raised", "mid")
             gen "Yes. Squeal for me." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             ton "Very well..." ("open", "narrow", "shocked", "down")
@@ -563,7 +563,7 @@ label ag_st_imperio_E2:
             ast "Professor?!" ("open", "closed", "worried", "mid")
             gen "You did the same to Miss bones, did you not?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             ast "Yes, but..." ("open", "narrow", "worried", "mid")
-            ast "I doubt Professor Tonks would be ok with that, she'll just refuse like she did before!" ("clench", "narrow", "base", "L")
+            ast "I doubt Professor Tonks would be okay with that, she'll just refuse like she did before!" ("clench", "narrow", "base", "L")
             gen "Did you have those concerns with Susan as well?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             ast "Susan didn't require much convincing, her boobs were already falling out of her--" ("clench", "narrow", "base", "L")
             gen "Just try it." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
@@ -768,7 +768,7 @@ label ag_st_imperio_E3:
     # Astoria leaves.
     call ast_walk(action="leave")
 
-    ton @ hair angry "The nerve on that girl, I can't believe it!" ("open", "base", "angry", "R", xpos="mid", ypos="base")
+    ton @ hair angry "The nerve of that girl, I can't believe it!" ("open", "base", "angry", "R", xpos="mid", ypos="base")
     ton "I'm beginning to think teaching her an \"unforgivable curse\" might've been a bad idea after all..." ("normal", "closed", "annoyed", "mid")
     gen "How so?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     ton "Didn't you hear her?" ("open", "base", "angry", "mid")
@@ -1101,7 +1101,7 @@ label ag_st_imperio_E4:
     ton @ hair neutral "Well, that was interesting..." ("annoyed", "wide", "base", "downR", xpos="mid", ypos="base", flip=False, trans=dissolve)
     gen "Do you have any idea why she wanted to leave so abruptly?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     ton "I have a couple of theories, actually..." ("soft", "closed", "base", "mid")
-    gen "*Mhmm*... That curse thing is it?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "*Mhmm*... That curse thing, is it?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     ton @ hair horny ".................." ("soft", "wide", "base", "down") # horny stare
     ton "Would you like me to put my clothes back on?" ("grin", "narrow", "raised", "mid")
     gen "Don't feel pressured!" ("grin", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
@@ -1651,7 +1651,7 @@ label ag_st_imperio_E5:
             gen "Why weren't you honest with me?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             ton "*Sigh*..." ("open", "narrow", "base", "R")
             ton @ cheeks blush "Perhaps I've been taking this favour business... thing a bit too lightly." ("open", "narrow", "raised", "down")
-            ton "I've been telling myself that it's as much for the students benefit as it is my own." ("upset", "closed", "worried", "mid")
+            ton "I've been telling myself that it's as much for the students' benefit as it is my own." ("upset", "closed", "worried", "mid")
             ton "\"I'll help them explore their sexuality\"." ("annoyed", "closed", "base", "mid")
             ton "\"It'll do them good\"." ("annoyed", "closed", "base", "mid")
             gen "We both know that is not the reason why we're doing this." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
@@ -1695,7 +1695,7 @@ label ag_st_imperio_E5:
             gen "Miss Tonks..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             gen "What this means is that you're no different than Snape and I." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             gen "But you have yet to accept it..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-            gen "And if you're unable to, well in that case..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+            gen "And if you're unable to... Well, in that case..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             ton "I can! I have!" ("open_wide", "closed", "worried", "mid")
             gen "Are you sure? Because if you're not in on this one hundred percent. Perhaps this may have been a mistake." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             ton "I..." ("open", "base", "worried", "down")
@@ -1756,7 +1756,7 @@ label ag_st_imperio_E5:
     gen "That's what I said." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     gen "Well then, I believe we're done here..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     ton "Alright..." ("annoyed", "base", "base", "down")
-    ton @ hair horny "I'm gonna need some \"me\" time now..." ("open", "closed", "base", "ahegao")
+    ton @ hair horny "I'm going to require some \"me\" time now..." ("open", "closed", "base", "ahegao")
     ton @ hair horny "If you know what I mean..." ("grin", "narrow", "raised", "down")
     ton "I suppose I should wish you good luck with the training..." ("soft", "base", "shocked", "L")
     gen "Have a good night." ("grin", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")

game/scripts/characters/astoria/wardrobe_reactions.rpy

@@ -32,10 +32,10 @@ label ast_reaction_category_fail(category):
         gen "..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     elif category == "lower undergarment":
         ast "Why would I do that?" ("base", "narrow", "angry", "R")
-        gen "I don't know, why wouldn't you do it?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+        gen "I don't know... Why wouldn't you do it?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         ast "..." ("base", "narrow", "base", "down")
     elif category == "piercings & tattoos":
-        ast "Sounds awesome but you'll just make it something stupid." ("angry", "narrow", "base", "R")
+        ast "Sounds awesome, but you'll just pick something stupid." ("angry", "narrow", "base", "R")
         gen "I'd never..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         ast "Lies..." ("clench", "base", "base", "mid")
     return
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ label ast_reaction_touch(what):
             block:
                 ast "Whatever..." ("base", "base", "base", "down")
             block:
-                ast "I'm only letting you do this cause you didn't snitch on me..." ("open", "closed", "base", "mid")
+                ast "I'm only letting you do this because you didn't snitch on me..." ("open", "closed", "base", "mid")
                 gen "Sure..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             block:
                 ast "What's this obsession with petting coming from?" ("open", "narrow", "base", "L")
@@ -59,7 +59,7 @@ label ast_reaction_touch(what):
 
         random:
             block:
-                ast "You're really enjoying that aren't you?" ("base", "narrow", "base", "mid")
+                ast "You're really enjoying that, aren't you?" ("base", "narrow", "base", "mid")
                 ast "Well I guess you're just a man after all..." ("open", "closed", "base", "mid")
             block:
                 ast "Hey!" ("clench", "base", "base", "mid")
@@ -75,12 +75,12 @@ label ast_reaction_touch(what):
                 ast @ cheeks blush "What do you think you're doing?" ("clench", "base", "base", "mid")
                 gen "Kissing you?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                 ast "Surely that's against some rule..." ("annoyed", "base", "base", "R")
-                gen "Worried about rule breaking all of a sudden are we?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+                gen "Worried about rule breaking all of a sudden, are we?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                 ast "No..." ("base", "narrow", "base", "mid")
             block:
                 ast "Aren't you a bold one..." ("base", "narrow", "base", "mid")
             block:
-                ast "Thought you could slip past my wards did you?" ("clench", "base", "base", "mid")
+                ast "Thought you could slip past my wards, did you?" ("clench", "base", "base", "mid")
                 ast @ cheeks blush "I'll have you know I felt none of that!" ("open", "closed", "base", "mid")
 
     return
@@ -97,7 +97,7 @@ label ast_reaction_touch_fail(what):
             block:
                 ast "Oh sorry, my hand slipped." ("annoyed", "closed", "angry", "mid")
             block:
-                ast "Do that again and you'll regret it..." ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
+                ast "Do that again, and you'll regret it..." ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
             block:
                 ast "Stop..." ("base", "base", "base", "mid")
             block:
@@ -170,9 +170,9 @@ label ast_reaction_equip_fail(item):
         block:
             ast "*Nuh-uh*, I'm not putting that on." ("clench", "closed", "base", "mid")
         block:
-            ast "*Pfff* You want me to wear that? In your dreams old man..." ("annoyed", "narrow", "angry", "R")
+            ast "*Pfff* You want me to wear that? In your dreams, old man..." ("annoyed", "narrow", "angry", "R")
         block:
-            ast "Don't be such a creep, thanks but no thanks." ("upset", "narrow", "base", "mid")
+            ast "Don't be such a creep, thanks but no, thanks." ("upset", "narrow", "base", "mid")
 
     return
 
@@ -187,7 +187,7 @@ label ast_reaction_unequip(item):
 
 label ast_reaction_unequip_fail(item):
     if item.type == "panties":
-        ast "Like hell! Take off your own panties old man..." ("clench", "closed", "base", "mid")
+        ast "Like hell I would! Take off your own panties, old man..." ("clench", "closed", "base", "mid")
 
         show screen blkfade
         with d5
@@ -212,10 +212,10 @@ label ast_reaction_unequip_fail(item):
         ast "Why would you even suggest that?" ("clench", "closed", "base", "mid")
 
     elif item.type == "top":
-        ast "Ha! Keep dreaming old man!" ("smile", "narrow", "base", "mid")
+        ast "Ha! Keep dreaming, old man!" ("smile", "narrow", "base", "mid")
 
     elif item.type == "bottom":
-        ast "My bottoms stay where they are and that's final!" ("annoyed", "narrow", "angry", "R")
+        ast "My bottoms stay where they are, and that's final!" ("annoyed", "narrow", "angry", "R")
     return
 
 label ast_reaction_equip_outfit(item):

game/scripts/characters/cho/events/quidditch/intros.rpy

@@ -2105,7 +2105,7 @@ label cho_quid_E14:
 
     cho "(It's done... There's no going back now.)"
     cho "(Hold on... Didn't Snape say luck potion is expensive...)"
-    cho "(Blimey! I could have sold it got a new broom... )"
+    cho "(Blimey! I could have sold it, and bought a new broom...)"
     cho "(Too late for that now. I better find the best alternative broom I can!)"
 
     $ renpy.call_replay("cho_quid_E12.introspection")

game/scripts/characters/luna/wardrobe_reactions.rpy

@@ -239,10 +239,10 @@ label lun_reaction_unequip(item):
     return
 
 label lun_reaction_unequip_fail(item):
-    if item.type == "panties": #probably wont play since category unlocks same level as she can take them off
+    if item.type == "panties": #probably won't play since category unlocks same level as she can take them off
         lun "I'm sorry [name_genie_luna] but my panties are my one and only defence against wrackspurts." ("open", "closed", "base", "mid")
 
-    elif item.type == "bra": #probably wont play since category unlocks same level as she can take them off
+    elif item.type == "bra": #probably won't play since category unlocks same level as she can take them off
         lun "*giggles*" ("grin", "closed", "base", "mid")
         gen "What's so funny?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         lun "Oh... It's nothing..." ("base", "base", "base", "R")
@@ -402,7 +402,7 @@ label lun_reaction_equip_outfit(item):
         lun "It said in the quibbler that putting on a swimsuit could attract the one-eyed trouser snake." ("clench", "base", "base", "mid")
         gen "The... Oh, I see..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         gen "(Smut writers and their terrible euphemisms...)" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-        gen "*Err*... Did the magazine not mention that the... *Ahem*... Snake is valuable?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+        gen "*Err*... Didn't the magazine mention that the... *Ahem*... Snake is valuable?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         lun "It is?" ("angry", "base", "base", "stare")
         gen "Of course, the spit of the one-eyed trouser snake is heavily sought after." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         lun "Really?" ("mad", "base", "base", "mid")

game/scripts/characters/tonks/events/intro.rpy

@@ -566,15 +566,14 @@ label tonks_intro_E3:
     gen "Some people would say I'm {b}the{/b} Genie, actually!" ("grin", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     gen "The most powerful being in the entire universe... Multiple universes even..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     gen "Glad my reputation precedes me..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-    ton @ hair horny "How curious. I've never had a Genie before..." ("horny", "wide", "base", "down") # Tonks looks horny.
+    ton @ hair horny "How curious... I've never had a Genie before." ("horny", "wide", "base", "down") # Tonks looks horny.
     gen "I'm sorry-- what?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     ton "I meant, I've never had the pleasure of meeting a Genie before. This is brilliant!" ("grin", "shocked", "shocked", "mid")
     gen "(Is she hitting on me?!)" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     gen "I'm flattered... But how were you able to tell?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     ton "I'm an Auror. It's my job to identify and catch magical beings..." ("soft", "wide", "shocked", "mid")
     ton "But, if you are here, what happened to Professor Dumbledore?{w} Did he use one of your wishes and wish himself away?" ("mad", "wide", "shocked", "R")
-    gen "No... I don't do that anymore." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "Not exactly..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-    gen "I'm what you would call a \"free\" Genie..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     ton "So? What happened to him?" ("upset", "base", "raised", "mid")
     gen "I believe we traded places when one of my magical inventions went wrong..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     ton "Really?! Is he okay?" ("mad", "wide", "base", "mid")

game/scripts/characters/tonks/talk.rpy

@@ -97,8 +97,8 @@ label tonks_talk:
                     gen "My lamp!!!" ("angry", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                     gen "Shit, where even is that thing?" ("angry", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                     gen "I must have lost it when I got to this place!" ("angry", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-                    ton "Do you even need it? Didn't you say you were a free Genie now?" ("open", "base", "raised", "mid")
+                    ton "Do you even need it?" ("open", "base", "raised", "mid")
-                    gen "Of course I still need it! What sort of question is that, woman?!" ("angry", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+                    gen "Of course I need it! What sort of question is that, woman?!" ("angry", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                     ton "(................)" ("mad", "base", "base", "down")
                     gen "How would you like to suddenly be robbed of your house?!" ("angry", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
                     ton "(I guess I can jerk him off some other time...)" ("mad", "base", "worried", "R")

game/scripts/characters/tonks/wardrobe_reactions.rpy

@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ label ton_reaction_category_fail(category):
                 ton "Perhaps... But not right now..." ("soft", "narrow", "base", "mid")
     elif category == "lower undergarment":
         random:
-            ton "You want me to put on underwear? Now that's asking a bit much, don't you think?" ("crooked_smile", "narrow", "base", "mid")
+            ton "You want me to put on underwear? Now, that's asking a bit much, don't you think?" ("crooked_smile", "narrow", "base", "mid")
             ton "Like the Scottish say, I'd rather let it feel the breeze." ("grin", "narrow", "base", "mid")
             ton "Underwear? Don't make me laugh..." ("base", "base", "base", "down")
             ton "You'd have to do better than that if you want this kitty to come out and play..." ("base", "narrow", "base", "mid")
@@ -61,7 +61,7 @@ label ton_reaction_touch(what):
             ton "Teacher, I mean..." ("base", "narrow", "base", "downR")
             ton "Such a weird custom, but I'll allow it..." ("horny", "closed", "base", "mid")
             block:
-                ton "How naughty... How could I ever have allowed such indecent behaviour..." ("disgust", "narrow", "base", "mid")
+                ton "How naughty... How could I have ever allowed such indecent behaviour..." ("disgust", "narrow", "base", "mid")
                 ton "Don't you dare touch my elbows next..." ("soft", "narrow", "base", "mid")
 
     elif what == "breasts":
@@ -428,9 +428,9 @@ label ton_reaction_equip_outfit(item):
         gen "You've been so helpful lately, so I've got you an outfit." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         ton "That's very--" ("base", "wide", "base", "mid")
         ton "What's this?" ("soft", "base", "raised", "down")
-        gen "Why, it's an elf costume of course." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+        gen "Why, it's an elf costume, of course." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         gen "For Santa's sexy little helper." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-        ton "*Hmm*... And you're supposed to be Snta I suppose?" ("base", "narrow", "raised", "mid")
+        ton "*Hmm*... And you're supposed to be Santa, I suppose?" ("base", "narrow", "raised", "mid")
         gen "Why of course... Although you're free to handle Santa's sack if you like." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
 
     ####################