Writing tweaks - Luna

* Minor writing tweaks on Luna Inspect body and talk to me favours.

game/scripts/characters/luna/events/favors/inspect_her_body.rpy

@@ -573,7 +573,7 @@ label ll_pf_inspect_T2_E2_intro:
 
     call nar(">Luna shuffles uncomfortably and then glances up at you, seemingly unable to find what to say...")
 
-    gen "(Good job me..{w=0.4} I have royally fucked it up this time.)" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "(Good job me...{w=0.4} I have royally fucked it up this time.)" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     gen "Look, accidents happen to the best of--" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     lun "I'm sorry [lun_genie_name]!" ("angry", "narrow", "worried", "mid", xpos="base", ypos="base", flip=False, trans=dissolve)
     gen "..." ("angry", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")

game/scripts/characters/luna/events/favors/talk_to_me.rpy

@@ -669,7 +669,7 @@ label ll_pf_talk_T2_E1_repeat:
     gen "Yes?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     lun "Could I...{w} Could I watch you do it?" ("open", "narrow", "base", "mid")
     gen "You want to...{w=0.4} Watch me?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-    lun "Yes, If I'm supposed to learn about these things then wouldn't it be best if I watched you do it?" ("soft", "narrow", "base", "mid")
+    lun "Yes, If I'm supposed to learn about these things, then wouldn't it be best if I watched you do it?" ("soft", "narrow", "base", "mid")
     gen "*Hmm*..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     lun "Please, [lun_genie_name]! Even if I'm not ready yet myself, I really want to be able to help you properly once I am!" ("mad", "base", "base", "mid")
     gen "Well...{w=0.4} *Ah*...{w=0.4} When you put it that way..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
@@ -686,7 +686,7 @@ label ll_pf_talk_T2_E1_repeat:
     lun "How big is it going to get?" ("open", "base", "base", "downL", cheeks="blush")
     gen "Quite...{w=0.4} Quite a fair bit bigger..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     call nar(">You look up at the girl, who's now watching your every stroke with excitement.")
-    lun "Wow, it's so much bigger now! It's like unicorn horn!" ("open", "narrow", "base", "downL", cheeks="blush")
+    lun "Wow, it's so much bigger now! It's like a unicorn horn!" ("open", "narrow", "base", "downL", cheeks="blush")
     call nar(">With Luna so close to you, you can't help but notice her reddening cheeks and quickening breath.")
     lun "Wait, surely it can't be as hard as a unicorn horn..." ("soft", "base", "raised", "downL", cheeks="blush")
     gen "(*Ngh*...{w=0.4} You'd be surprised...)" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
@@ -792,7 +792,7 @@ label ll_pf_talk_T3_E1_repeat:
             gen "If you compare it to an elephant trunk that is... Actually when it comes to penis size, mine is absolutely massive!" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             gen "That's why I'm such a powerful wizard." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             gen "The two are directly related." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-        "-Overexaggerate-":
+        "-Over-exaggerate-":
             gen "It's absolutely massive..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             lun "I knew it!" ("grin", "base", "base", "downL", cheeks="blush")
             gen "Actually, I have to use magic to make it smaller than its true size." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
@@ -801,17 +801,17 @@ label ll_pf_talk_T3_E1_repeat:
             gen "Who do you think designed these robes?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             lun "*Ehm*..." ("soft", "base", "base", "mid", cheeks="blush")
             gen "Me of course!" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-            gen "If everyone has to wear loose fitting clothes then they wouldn't question why I'm always wearing them." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+            gen "Ever since I normalised wearing loose-fitting robes, nobody has ever questioned me about it." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-            gen "It is a curse... Sporting such a massive phallus..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+            gen "It is truly a curse... Sporting such a massive phallus..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-            lun "I... I'm sorry [lun_genie_name]... I had no idea..." ("angry", "narrow", "base", "mid", cheeks="blush")
+            lun "I--{w=0.2} I'm sorry [lun_genie_name]... I had no idea..." ("angry", "narrow", "base", "mid", cheeks="blush")
-            gen "That's the curse of being such a powerful wizard..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+            gen "That's the downside of being such a powerful wizard..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-            gen "The more powerful you are the larger it is." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+            gen "The more powerful you are, the larger the member." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
         "-Play it down-":
             gen "Nah, it's tiny..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             lun "Really?" ("clench", "base", "base", "mid", cheeks="blush")
             gen "Yep..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             lun "How do other people even hide theirs then?" ("disgust", "base", "base", "downL", cheeks="blush")
-            gen "Oh, you mean compared to other people?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+            gen "Oh, you meant compared to other people?" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             gen "You should've specified then... Size is quite relative you know..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             gen "This planet is tiny compared to the sun, which is tiny compared to the universe." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
             lun "Then... How big is it compared to the average person?" ("open", "base", "base", "mid", cheeks="blush")
@@ -831,10 +831,10 @@ label ll_pf_talk_T3_E1_repeat:
     lun "I see..." ("grin", "base", "base", "mid", cheeks="blush")
     gen "Now if you excuse me, I need to concentrate on this..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     lun "Of course [lun_genie_name]..." ("crooked_smile", "narrow", "base", "mid", cheeks="blush")
-    gen "Feel free to talk about how big it is by the way... It might help." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "Feel free to tell me more about how big it is by the way... It might help." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     lun "Oh... *Ehm*..." ("mad", "narrow", "base", "mid", cheeks="blush")
     call nar(">You continue stroking your cock in anticipation as Luna looks at you, pondering what to say.")
-    lun "Your penis is so big [lun_genie_name]..." ("soft", "narrow", "base", "downL", cheeks="blush")
+    lun "Your penis is so big, [lun_genie_name]..." ("soft", "narrow", "base", "downL", cheeks="blush")
     gen "Yes, that's it... Keep going, tell me how great I am." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     lun "And you're so powerful..." ("grin", "narrow", "base", "downL", cheeks="blush")
     gen "*Hmm*..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
@@ -842,7 +842,7 @@ label ll_pf_talk_T3_E1_repeat:
     lun "More powerful than merlin!" ("smile", "base", "base", "mid", cheeks="blush")
     gen "*Ngh*...{w=0.3} Yeah...{w=0.3} That guy, he's so overrated!" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     call nar(">You feel yourself getting closer to the edge as Luna strokes your ego.")
-    gen "I'm... I'm close, girl keep going..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "I'm... I'm close girl, keep going..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     lun "Oh... *Ehm*... I'm not sure what to--" ("angry", "narrow", "base", "downL", cheeks="blush")
     gen "Tell me I'm better than Jafar!" ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     lun "*Ehm*... I don't know who--" ("soft", "base", "base", "mid", cheeks="blush")
@@ -866,11 +866,11 @@ label ll_pf_talk_T3_E1_repeat:
     with d3
 
     lun "Wow... It went so far!" ("smile", "wide", "base", "L")
-    lun "Is that related to your wizard powers too?" ("angry", "base", "base", "mid")
+    lun "Is that related to your wizarding powers too?" ("angry", "base", "base", "mid")
-    gen "*Ah*...{w=0.3} *Ah*...{w=0.3} That's just sheer willpower..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
+    gen "*Ah*...{w=0.3} *Ah*...{w=0.3} That's just sheer willpower... And a couple of kegel's every now and then." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
     lun "Astonishing..." ("soft", "narrow", "base", "downL")
     gen "You can stop staring at it now..." ("base", xpos="far_left", ypos="head")
-    lun "Oh... Of course [lun_genie_name]." ("angry", "narrow", "base", "mid", cheeks="blush")
+    lun "Oh... Of course, [lun_genie_name]." ("angry", "narrow", "base", "mid", cheeks="blush")
 
     #Luna walks to mid position
     call lun_walk(path=[(230, 455),(230, 470),(440, 470),("mid", "base")])